This week on The Mike & Tony Show, Joe Dub slides back into the lineup — at this point he’s less “guest” and more “house band.” Together, the three of us prove that patience is for losers as Tony wakes up one morning and realizes he has not one… not two… but FIVE fantasy football teams. Because if you’re gonna lose, might as well do it five different ways.

We also talk about the Charlie Kirk shooting. People can’t wait half a second before getting political — let the man’s family breathe. Dude was a dad, a husband, a human. Period.

Then we step right into America’s dark greatest hits album: more school shootings. It’s like the one export we never wanted. We’re not anti-gun, but we do the math (badly, probably) on whether owning one really saves your life.

Other ridiculousness includes:

Eating puffer fish: AKA “Russian Roulette with chopsticks.”
How many people had to die for us to get sushi-level confidence in that dish?
Banana Laffy Taffy: turns out it’s based on a banana that doesn’t even exist anymore. That’s some ghost fruit flavoring.
Chips that taste exactly like a taco — sour cream, lettuce, the whole freakin’ thing. Society might be doomed, but at least snack science is thriving.
Brett Michaels’ hair: is it real, or is it Party City chic? Mike’s calling BS.

Fun Facts:

The odds of you being born are 1 in 400 trillion. Congrats, you beat the cosmic lottery just to listen to us.
Apple could literally buy Disney with the pocket change under its couch cushions.
Music makes you smarter, Hawaii has never hit zero degrees, and apparently women notice other women’s pretty faces way more than men do. Who knew?

This one’s part nonsense, part existential crisis, and all Colorado dad-energy (plus Joe Dub holding us down). Grab your Laffy Taffy and buckle up.

Cheers!
m&t

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