It’s the first episode of 2026, and the boys are back… slightly rounder, slightly wiser, and wildly unprepared for athletic endeavors.

Tony’s coming off a long break and mentally bracing himself to return to work, while Mike reflects on his wholesome (and surprisingly heroic) holiday tradition—inviting people over for Christmas and offering rides to anyone stranded on New Year’s Eve. Basically, Mike might be an actual angel.

We cover moving horror stories and make one thing crystal clear:
👉We are officially too old to move our friends.
Hire someone. Prepare. Stretch. Don’t call us. Actually... maybe you can call Mike.

New Year’s resolutions are on the table:
• Tony’s been cooking and baking… unfortunately, in a way that screams future diabetes and heart disease, so he’s pivoting to a healthier lane.
• Mike’s getting organized and diving into a serious body recomp.
• Both of us admit the holidays hit hard. Time to clean it up.

From there, things get weird (as usual):
We unpack the absurd ideas we blindly inherit from our parents, dive into real crime stories (why is it always the quiet close ones?!), and marvel at how some people commit elaborate crimes… then Google “how to get rid of a body” like absolute amateurs.

Also in this episode:
• Mike takes a ChatGPT master class 🤯
• Wild Olympic sports that almost made it
• Fast walkers apparently live longer (Tony expected to live forever—smoke coming off those sneakers)
• And the surprisingly beautiful fact that choir singers’ heartbeats synchronize when they sing together

New year. Same chaos. Let’s go.

Cheers!

m&t